book by Jennette McCurdy

https://lisashiroff.com/on-writing-jeannette-mccurdy/

Genre:

• non-fiction
• memoir

Scale:

For Fans of

• Dark comedy
• Memoir
• Brutal honesty

What is it about?

Caveat: I live under a pop-culture rock. I had no idea who Jennette McCurdy was prior to reading her book. I had never seen any of the TV shows she was on and never heard her music. And I’m kind of glad about that because I usually shy away from celebrity memoirs, as they’re more often about exploits concerning what they did with other famous people. I’m so glad I didn’t know who she was!

Jennette McCurdy was forced into an acting career at the age of six, so her narcissistic mother could live vicariously through her. She went from being an extra at the back of a lot to a star on Nickelodeon in her early teens. That might sound like a dream come true for any wannabe actress out there, but for Jeannette, it was more of a nightmare. She never wanted to be an actress, never felt the calling to entertain anyone except for her mother.

As with many little girls, Jennette only wanted to make her mother happy. Mom was a cancer survivor, something she never let anyone forget (to such an extent that every weekend, she’d force her family to watch the home movies from when she went through treatment). Jennette was two years old when her mother finished chemo. The trauma of almost losing her mother (and being constantly reminded of it) led to Jennette making her birthday wishes for her mother to live another year.

Making wishes over a birthday cake was one of the few “normal” childhood things Mom indulged her daughter in. Otherwise, Jennet had no childhood. Mom homeschooled her and, when not driving and supervising her during every audition, acting class, and acting gig, Mom never let Jennette out of her sight (she even showered her daughter until the age of sixteen). And anytime Jennette had the audacity to ask for a change or for a minute of reprieve, Mom took her on a guilt trip.

With such an emotional leech and domineering mother, perhaps it’s no wonder that Jennette developed OCD, anxiety, and self-loathing as she grew up. That’s the mild stuff. She also developed eating disorders and addiction. The eating disorder, by the way, was encouraged by Mom, because, well, a girl just can’t get too small. Finally, because she’d never been encouraged (or allowed) to build any relationships with people outside of her family, Jennette wound up in a series of unhealthy ones as a young adult.

It is only when Mom became sick again, when Jennette was old enough to live on her own (though Mom did move in with her for a while), that the young woman discovered therapy. And when her mother passes away, she’s able to quit acting and start figuring out what kind of life she really wants—guilt free.

Frankly, I’m glad her mom died, too.

I love McCurdy’s brutal honesty—about herself. She doesn’t hold back. She admits when she was jealous; she admits when she wasn’t the greatest or most perfect human being in the world. Never did I get the impression she was whiny or playing the role of the victim. Shit happened to her, and she describes it in enough detail that you get the full picture. She’s a grown-up who accepts responsibility for who she is now, while grappling with trying to figure out who she wants to be.

A final note: this is a memoir, not a novel. I’m only repeating that line because a few of the reviews I’d read on Amazon complained about how it’s not structured like a good novel. It’s not supposed to be structured that way.

What is funny or uplifting?

It really is a humorous book, despite dealing with such deep and dark material as addictions, eating disorders, and potential sexual abuse.

McCurdy is a masterful storyteller with a brilliant wit. She recognizes the absurdity of everything she went through. If we’re all truthful, there is usually a dark humor found in the ironies and weirdness of an absurd life.

While I didn’t laugh out loud, I was borderline to it a few times and smiled often. But really, this book is more uplifting than funny. She triumphed. McCurdy learned to face her demons and break their hold over her. She grew up with only one goal in life: be who her mother wanted her to be. That’s one hell of a demon to battle. But McCurdy did what she needed to do and was able to walk away from her mother’s grave with grace, fearless and reveling in the freedom to finally have the life she really wants.

What about the writing? How does it work?

What I love most about the way McCurdy wrote this book is how she manipulated the language to be reflective of the age she was writing about. That is, the book begins in McCurdy’s childhood and is written in a language and style in alignment with that young age. As she grows into adulthood, the language and style does, too. However, underlying that evolution is a consistent voice of who McCurdy is. That’s no easy feat! Bravo!

If you’d like to read a little more on why I think the writing works, see this post.

Did you read this book? What did you think?